Healthy relationships
Find out how to support children and young people to make healthy and safe choices in their relationships
Quick links
Forming and exploring relationships of all types is important to children and young people as they grow up. Scouts plays a vital role in supporting them to do this safely and to promote healthy relationships.
Healthy relationships include:
- Good communication
- Mutual respect
- Trust
- Honesty
- Equality
Childline has great advice for children and young people who need help with friendships and peer pressure, and top tips for making friends.
Romantic relationships
Establishing healthy relationships isn’t always easy. Unhealthy relationships can have a negative impact on mental health and can sometimes cause harm to children and young people.
Being in a close friendship or romantic relationship where there’s an age gap isn’t always a problem, but there are some things to think about. An age gap can mean there’s a difference in what children and young people can do and there can be an imbalance of power. This can lead to a child or young person being vulnerable and at risk of harm.
It’s important that volunteers discuss with parents or carers if children and young people are in close friendships or romantic relationships where there is a large age gap and report to the UK HQ Safeguarding Team.
What the Yellow Card says
All adults in Scouts must follow the Safeguarding Code of Conduct for Adults (Yellow Card).
The Yellow Card says: 'Do not overstep the boundaries with children and young people by being involved in friendships or personal relationships with them.'
Adults in Scouts are in a position of trust and responsibility with children and young people, and any sexual relationship between a youth member (even if they are over 16) is unacceptable and must be reported to the UK HQ Safeguarding Team in line with our Yellow Card.
What the law says about sex
16 is the legal age of consent in the UK for all genders and sexual identities and young people under the age of 13 cannot legally consent to any form of sexual activity. The Sexual Offences Act (SOA) England 2003, Sexual Offences (Scotland) Act 2009, and Sexual Offences (Northern Ireland) Order 2008 introduced a series of laws to protect children and young people from sexual abuse. The law does not intend to prosecute mutually agreed teenage sexual activity between two young people of a similar age and development unless it involves abuse or exploitation.
The term 'sexting' is used to describe the sending of sexually explicit photos, messages and videos, by text, email or posting them on social media sites. Children and young people may send such messages, images or video. They can also be forced, tricked or coerced into sharing images by other children, young people or adults in-person and online.
It's a criminal offence to create or share explicit images of a child (under 18s). However, the law is intended to protect children and not criminalise them. Whether a child or young person shares an image consensually or not, they have no control over how other people might use or share it. They may experience bullying or isolation if the image is shared around peer groups.
Perpetrators of abuse may circulate a nude image more widely and use this to blackmail a child or groom them for further sexual abuse. It’s vital that children and young people are supported when such incidents occur. Report Remove is a tool created by the NSPCC and Internet Watch Foundation to help young people under 18 in the UK to confidentially report sexual images and videos of themselves and remove them from the internet.
If adults in Scouts have any concerns about a child or young person, they must follow the Yellow Card and report their concerns to the UK HQ Safeguarding Team.
Talking to children and young people about sex and relationships
Children are naturally curious and they may ask questions about their bodies, relationships, sex and sexuality. Scouts can support them by promoting safe, healthy and responsible relationships.
Every child is different and may become interested in relationships, sex and sexuality at slightly different ages. But as children get older, the way they express their sexual feelings changes. It’s natural for teenagers to show interest in sex and relationships for example, or for children to be curious about the changes that happen during puberty.
Many sexual behaviours children and teenagers show as they grow up are normal and healthy, so long as they’re not causing harm to others or to the children themselves.
Parents and carers are still likely to be the preferred sources of information and advice for most young people, and schools complement this by providing relationships education in primary schools and relationships and sex education in secondary schools. Adults in Scouting can have a trusted role, and this makes them a potential source of information and advice for children and young people.
Scouts has a role in helping young people develop the confidence and self-esteem to resist peer pressure until they are ready to make safe and informed decisions about sexual activity. However, many young people are already sexually active, and adults in Scouts can support them by promoting safe, healthy and responsible relationships. Scouts volunteers can also provide information and support. This is not about encouraging sexual activity in young people, but giving them the tools to make informed and healthy choices and helping them develop the confidence and self-esteem to resist peer pressure.
Signposting to services
If a child or young person asks about sexual health matters, try to provide age-appropriate information and refer them to local health professionals, such as their GP.
Highlight the benefits of the child or young person talking to their parents or carers. Most importantly, if you are concerned about the child or young person’s welfare, you must report it to the UK HQ Safeguarding Team. You must do this, even in circumstances where the child or young person specifically asks you not to or is reluctant to co-operate. The safety and welfare of children and young people is paramount.
Adults should be prepared to give information to young people who seek it. If you are uncomfortable about discussing these issues, refer them to your local sexual health services.
Adults in Scouts should offer age-appropriate guidance to young people, regardless of their own faith and values. Personal interpretations of faith range from the liberal to the strictly traditional. Every religion has its own teachings regarding relationships and contraception, and it is important to respect the right of young people to make the choices that they feel are right for them. All young people are entitled to information and advice that allows them to make informed choices. While some Scout Groups are sponsored by religious bodies, this should not be a barrier to providing age-appropriate advice to children and young people.
The Scout programme and healthy sexual relationships
Volunteers in the Explorer Scout Section should consider how their programme can support young people in making healthy, safe and informed decisions about relationships and sex. Explorers meetings could give young people the opportunity to discuss issues with their peer group that may not be so easily discussed elsewhere.
Suggested programme ideas can be found in the My Body, My Choice resource which helps Explorer Volunteers who want to explore the topic of relationships and sexual health with young people. It has been produced with the support of Brook, the young people’s sexual health charity, and reflects Scouts values and offers a range of programme material.
Sexual orientation and gender identity
Adults in Scouts must be aware of issues such as sexism, misogyny, homophobia and gender stereotypes. Adults have an important role to play in modelling positive behaviours and must take positive action to build a culture where these issues are not tolerated. Any occurrences must be identified and resolved appropriately.
Scouts is an inclusive organisation and welcomes everyone, including those who are part of LGBTQ+ communities. Everyone should be treated with respect and discrimination must be challenged.
Sexual violence and sexual harassment
Adults in Scouts should be aware of the importance of making clear that sexual violence and sexual harassment are not acceptable, will never be tolerated and are not an inevitable part of growing up.
An understanding for young people of healthy relationships, acceptable behaviour and the right to equal treatment will help ensure that they treat each other well and go on to be respectful and kind adults in healthy relationships. Childline has guidance for children and young people dealing with sexual harassment.
Remember, if you’re concerned about the welfare of a child or young person, follow the Yellow Card.
Further support
These websites provide information and advice. You can also share them with young people.
Healthy relationships
- Childline offers free and confidential telephone counselling service for children and young people with any problem.
- The Children’s Society offers online advice for young people about healthy relationships and abusive relationships.
- CEOP offers online guidance for young people about healthy relationships.
- Know about CSE offers online advice for young people about safe and healthy relationships.
Sexual health
- Avert is an international HIV and AIDS charity based in the UK, with the aim of AVERTing HIV and AIDS worldwide.
- Be in the know is an international HIV and AIDS charity based in the UK, which provides information on sex and sexual health.
- British Pregnancy Advisory Service supports reproductive choice by advocating and providing high-quality, affordable services to prevent or end unwanted pregnancy with contraception or by abortion.
- Brook is the only national voluntary sector provider of free and confidential sexual health advice and services specifically for young people under 25.
- FPA offers information on contraception and sexual health.
- GIRES is a UK wide organisation whose purpose is to improve the lives of trans and gender non-conforming people of all ages, including those who are non-binary and non-gender.
- MSI Reproductive Choices UK is the country's leading reproductive healthcare charity, which provides the following services: abortion, contraception, emergency contraception, female sterilisation, health screening and vasectomy.
- NHS Heath A-Z offers reliable health advice 24 hours a day 365 days a year.
- Report Remove is a tool from NSPCC and the Internet Watch Foundation to support young people to remove nude images of themselves online.
- Sexwise is a national sexual and reproductive health promotion programme, run by Public Health England.
- Terrence Higgins Trust offers help and support to people who are living with, know someone with, or think they might be at risk from HIV.
- The Proud Trust is the home of LGBT+ young people, helping them to empower themselves, to make a positive change for themselves, and their communities.