Pack up your troubles
You’ll need
- Small plastic balls
- Backpack
Before you begin
- You’ll need a ball for each person – you could also gather smooth stones or rocks to use instead, or use a mixture of the two.
- The person leading the activity should show everyone the Yellow Card. They should explain that it’s Scouts’ code of practice to keep everyone safe and go through what it says.
Fill the backpack
- Everyone should sit in a circle and the person leading the activity should put the empty backpack in the middle, explaining that it represents a person.
- Everyone should take it in turns to take a ball and put it in the backpack. As they place it in, they should say something mean or unkind. They should try to think of unkind things (for example, ‘you can’t play with us’ or ‘I don’t want to be your friend’), rather than insults (for example, ‘I don’t like your hair’).
- Once everyone’s had a turn, everyone who wants to should try to lift or hold the backpack and feel how heavy it’s become. This represents how it might feel to hear mean or unkind things – everyone should imagine carrying this heavy weight of unkindness around with them.
- Ask if anyone can think of some ways they could respond positively if someone is being unkind or dishonest. This includes telling an adult if someone is making you feel uncomfortable.
Make it better
- Everyone should say sorry to the backpack. It may feel a bit silly, but it’s a good chance to practise making a proper apology.
- The person leading the activity should point out that even though people have said sorry, the backpack is still heavy and full. Saying sorry is important, but it isn’t always enough.
- Everyone should take it in turns to take a ball out of the backpack. As they take it out, they should say a kind or supportive thing. Everyone should try to say some kind or encouraging words (for example, ‘would you like to join in our game’ or ‘I’m glad you’re my friend’), rather than compliments (for example, ‘you have nice shoes’).
- Once the backpack’s empty again, everyone who wants to should feel how light it is now it’s full of kindness. The person leading the activity should point out how much nicer this backpack is to carry.
Reflection
This activity was all about communicating. People have lots of choices when they communicate. How did it feel to say mean and unkind things? It may have felt uncomfortable or anxiety-provoking (or it might have felt strange, because it was just pretend – the words didn’t hurt any people). Why is it important to think before you communicate? People might think about how, once they’ve said something, they can’t undo it, and how the things they say make other people feel.
This activity was also about caring. What impact did people’s words have on the backpack? What happened when everyone said sorry to the backpack? They may have felt better, but it didn’t make the backpack any lighter as it was still full of unkind things. What did people do to show they cared? For the rest of the meeting, everyone should pretend they’re wearing backpacks. Can everyone take a weight out of five different people’s backpacks by saying something kind to them?
At Scouts we have our Yellow Card so that everyone knows how to keep each other safe, and how to respond if people are making you feel uncomfortable in person, or online. The person leading the activity should remind everyone that they should tell a trusted adult if they feel uncomfortable about anything online.
Safety
All activities must be safely managed. You must complete a thorough risk assessment and take appropriate steps to reduce risk. Use the safety checklist to help you plan and risk assess your activity. Always get approval for the activity, and have suitable supervision and an InTouch process.
People could work in pairs or small groups to suggest the kind and unkind things to say. They could write (or draw) the things on scrap paper or sticky notes, then attach them to the balls – they could even destroy the paper as they take the balls out again.
Arrange the activity so everyone can put a ball in the backpack – it might work best to go on the floor or a table or chair. People can work together to make suggestions (and put the balls in) if that means everyone can join in.
All Scout activities should be inclusive and accessible.
You could also show how words affect people using a bowl of water – place objects in, and notice how the ripples spread out. Ask everyone to imagine that the objects are words (or actions) – how might the ripples feel if they were caused by unkind words? What about kind words?
Another visual representation uses some squirty cream. Squirt some cream into a clean bowl, then ask everyone to put the cream back inside the can. They’ll find that it’s impossible. People’s words are like this – once they’re out, it’s impossible to take them back.